The tipping points of time,
the moment the cup overflows and a single drop of water spills,
the heightened sense when you feel a pivotal question arrive on a lover’s lips before they speak.
The cool sorrowful electricity knowing this is the last time you listen to your parent’s voice because they are dying, and now, will soon be dead.
Finality is a poem, a lie, and the only song we learn to sing over a lifetime.
All songs are praises, are protests, are sung with breath
which we imagine is the metric of consciousness,
having heard it once, is there a weight to the sound you never stop hearing?
Marking the clock like 12 and 6,
as we spiral around, ticking through key resonances to new destinations.
Do you have a sense of urgency to achieve, to arrive before your clock stops?
* * *
For the Full Moon on August 3rd, accident mixes with anger and intent. It’s not friendly and it’s not forgiving. Cancer Mercury does have a sense of humor, also, she holds a grudge.
It’s CREATIVE but maybe in the worst kind of grammar school teacher speak. As in, there’s a lot of other things it is too, and we don’t like those things.
Perhaps we are surprised by them, perhaps our situation suffers a removal, which may be initially constructed/construed as a loss.
That could be the catalyst, necessity being the dictate that throws our awareness over those cliffs that supposedly bring on the wing creation…anyway that’s what I heard.
Uranus in Taurus squares the Leo Sun and the Aquarius Moon. A surprise, a withdrawal of support? An accident? A shock?
Mars is at 19 Aries under this Full Moon, and due to a very long retrograde that he has not even begun, by the middle of October 2020 he will be at 19 Aries AGAIN, and not done going back.
Eris conjuncts that Mars and together they square Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto and Mercury. Unkind words, unkind actions.
A challenge to the status quo. Somebody stirs the pot.
The Capricorn pile up opposes Crab Mercury: That’s an easy one to decipher, the answer is no. Or you say no. Or yes, but there are consequences, conditions.
Venus is on the North Node in Gemini, inconjunct Saturn in Capricorn, the same Saturn that opposes Mercury.
Money and valuables. It’s the results of past actions for sure, but not only your own actions. In fact, what you contend with is probably mostly beyond your control, or somehow tied in to choices you made before you had all the information.
Back, before you knew about the crack in the rockface, the danger of avalanche or altitude, waaay back when reasonable risks were assessed. And they seemed, well, reasonable.
The Full Moon has a way of pulling things out, of ripening consequences, bringing our actions to fruition.
It’s not that your choices now won’t be final, but that final as they are, you will be forced to face them over and over.
Suppose under this sky you get really angry and make a foolish choice? Turn a sharp corner, set a bridge alight, a fire, a flame that will not be put out.
You won’t be able to fix it, not easily, not likely, nor will you be able to forget what you have done.
Allow yourself to realize everything you think.
This Full Moon is an ending, like they all are, but there is something here that has the nature of a long goodbye.
Under this sky, and in this world, at this time, we say goodbye to so many, to so much.
Goodbye not only to the dreams of life we had imagined: this partner, that apartment, this city, my friend, my job, my business, but to whole worlds, to whole imaginary futures of what seemed possible, or even important, once upon a time.
The door to the fairytale of everything you ever knew is closing faster than you can squeeze your desperate and deeply needy body through it, no matter how heavily greased by hope, faith, or abject and slippery prayers.
We have to look at some of this lead up to 2021 as potential dream time. As blurring the line between conscious and unconscious life.
What we live now, with so many rules and so much suspense, is a way to get at something, painful as any penitent’s confinement, it’s a chance to get at who we really are. A chance to see what’s inside.
You may have to give something up in order to be true to your values.
There may be consequences for telling the truth, or perhaps a more complex situation where you don’t know if what you adhere to is correct, or if who you are forced to follow has any integrity, and what does that even mean in this day, at this time?
– Richard Rohr sez: -We do not find our own center. It finds us. We do not think ourselves into new ways of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking.-
He’s right. It takes practice.
You may need nearly a week, or a week and change to come up with a fully workable plan.
What’s good here?
There is some support for the individual, and for knowing your own mind, even if you don’t know what to do next.
Being yourself, deeply, emphatically. Radical self acceptance. Being able to see your weakness or idiosyncrasies as strength, & individual character, which they can be, and if you’ve done your homework, maybe they already are.
That’s the Chiron in Aries angle, coming at it head first. Chiron trines the LEO Sun. I could say -you do you,- only and exactly how you want, except that won’t work. The Full Moon is full of conditions.
Instead, you BE you, doing whatever you need to, with your whole self, as you ARE.
Oscar Wilde tells us – Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.-
…and isn’t he right? Didn’t he live to know it?
How can I describe him as a help here? I think because his hardships didn’t diminish his humanity or his genius.
And that’s all we are promised, the ability to try to retain our humanity.
Our curiosity, our multiplicity even, our ordinary ability to want to know, to see every side possible, to connect to anyone, that’s what leads us out of this mess. Our ability to be amused, distracted, honestly that helps!
The pleasure of our friends and neighbors, asking what happened next, because we really want to know.
Is there a story in here? OH MY GOD THERE IS.
There is a story, so many stories… the colors and shapes of them, a garden of experience.
However crushed or shut down you may feel, allow yourself not only to plan, but to dream, to wonder, what could happen, what becomes possible, wherever in whatever ways you become liberated?
Can you feel the space that opens up in your chest with curiosity? What would you like to know?
How’s your breathing? Let’s breathe together now. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.