For the Full Moon in Gemini it’s
Information and the Balance of Power.
Can you feel a tipping point?
A culmination, and underneath, a beginning that has its roots in the near past.
Information arrives under the light of the Full Moon there is a question underneath… a loose thread to pull at and we do pull it… we can’t help it… we can’t help but wonder and feel…
Terrance Hayes writes:
“I’m not sure how to hold my face when I dance:
In an expression of determination or euphoria?
And how should I look at my partner: in her eyes
Or at her body? Should I mirror the rhythm of her hips,
Or should I take the lead? I hear Jimi Hendrix
Was also unsure in dance despite being beautiful
And especially attuned. Most black men know this
About him. He understood the rhythm of a delta
Farmer on guitar in a juke joint circa 1933, as well
As the rhythm of your standard Negro bohemian on guitar
In a New York apartment amid daydreams of jumping
Through windows, ballads of footwork, Monk orchestras,
Miles with strings. Whatever. I’m just saying,
I don’t know how to hold myself when I dance. Do you?”
Could we find out?
… No need for endless metaphors.. we ourselves, our lives are boldly metaphoric, our patterns are writing stories, and just as we move into what we call the Holiday Season we can be grateful that we have arrived at the crux of the situation, or one of them anyway….
Set the dial to fairytale.
It’s ancient medicine which is never a miracle without a process.
To make the miracle, you initiate the process… to receive the healing you undertake the journey.
You can’t do it in one step, but without that one step you’ll never do it. Step into the underworld… we are going to listen on the inside..
An undertaking, a transformation that won’t end until January 29th… or even, in a way until March 8th.
Here we are in the impossible task portion of the story… the part where we take a look at what we have, and imagine what it might take to get what we want, and we don’t know… we don’t know how possible that is… or isn’t… and we are going to try…
What is it everyone says constantly on Beyonce’s Internet?
They say “Fuck around and find out.”
And I mean that with sincerity. You can’t know if you don’t try.
This winter is a story about our own relationship to the world as it exists now, and to our own desires.
There is a poem by Brenda Shaughnessy called I Want the World.
She writes:
“I Want the World.
You never know, when you say goodbye, if it’s the last time. Last time for
who? For what?
Every time is the last for that particular goodbye, wearing those clothes, at
that airport. My daughter in her fuchsia track shorts and faded green t-shirt
almost as soft as her luscious little arms. She was complaining, as usual.
She was hungry. She was tired of traveling.
Her complaints were especially unpleasant since they only pointed up how
innocent she was of how bad everything could get. The Legos are boring?
Imagine no toys of any kind.
The chicken nuggets are too hot? Just wait. They’ll cool and by then, I hope
she can learn to like lizard blood and shoelace chewing gum, because that’s
what’s coming.
A fierce zip of pride bites my heart. She demands more because she knows
there’s more in the world and she believes she should have it all. She
knows what she wants: what she wants.
She believes the world is coming to her, not veering definitively away. She
still thinks we can choose between ice cream flavors, bless her that she has
so many possible flavors in mind.
Between stuffed animals and dolls. Which color lunch box you want for the
whole school year. What school year? I think. Will first grade exist this
coming fall?
She still thinks that what she thinks will affect what she gets. She still
believes tantrums might get her her way. She doesn’t know yet that nobody
gets her way.
We’re all lucky if we get anything at all, come dinnertime, come night, the
next morning and the next hot morning, the next endangered livingspace if
we get to stay there. We can’t carry all that stuff. But she doesn’t think of it
as stuff.
She thinks of it as what she wants. Life’s been consistent – me resisting her
demands, cutting my hair to make her paintbrushes. If something happens
to me, who will help her believe her beliefs?
She believes her desires – as erratic and irrational as a six-year-old’s
desires can be – nevertheless have intrinsic value. A thread of hope wound,
inextricable, all around and through her very person. I believe that, too.
One of these mornings I’ll say goodbye, a routine goodbye when I go to the
FedPlex warehouse to work or pick my rations, and in my absence she will
lose that thread, come to fully understand what she wants is impossible in
our world.
All of it, any of it, the tiniest thing, impossible.
I won’t have known but I’ll be walking away from my daughter for the last
time, coming home (wherever home is) to someone new, someone broken
off from my old girl, six years old.
Here, I tell her, providing a pencil with a pristine, unsharpened end, chew on
this. Nobody’s touched it yet. It’s all yours, darling.
Somewhere I’ll find a blade to sharpen it, and we’ll find a scrap for drawing,
a bit of napkin or a smooth, light stone. For now, you can chew on it. Soon
you’ll be able to draw whatever you want.”
At some point in my work as an Astrologer, I started saying – Fate arrives as a situation and free will is what you do with it.- I believe that.
What is meant for us to experience becomes clear this winter while we renegotiate that tension.
What do you do when faced with your own desire? How comfortable are you with your motivations, and how motivated are you to attain your comforts? When you are uncomfortable, how motivated are you to change the rules of the engagement or to change yourself ?
Our lives in December, January, and February become eventful, the outcomes uncertain, the risks worth taking, and it is possible, actually possible to have good luck.
Even now, and especially now… to make the snow-globe universe worth inhabiting at all, you have to shake it up.
Less will be more this year, for some of us, but what there is will be potent. Under the Venus retrograde love or money may disappear while another sweet thing takes its place, or something more subtle and less tangible… want, need.
The notes of the melody are not really subtle at all.
Desire takes a starring role, and pleasure, whether easy or hard to come by, means more than it usually does, the way a single sweet tastes in your mouth, when you only have one, and you only get one.
On May 26, 2021 we had our Full Moon Eclipse in Sagittarius and now, as we move to North Node Taurus and close out the Nodes in Gemini and Sagittarius I’ll read you what I wrote then.
-2021 is almost a vision quest, or a rorschach test, it’s a pitch perfect bell that shows you none of these surrounding sounds are simple… it’s you finding your way in the woods or an unfamiliar city. You are going to stumble, and since you don’t know the landmarks you will have to look for something else. Close your eyes and listen.-
Let’s breathe for a moment. I’m so glad you have arrived, here where everything is always in motion. In every conceivable imagining you are alive in a living universe. There are no meaningful separations between your molecules and the molecules that surround you. I’m so happy you are alive and breathing, here with us.
Love YOU!!!
XoX
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