Our world revolves around the Sun. We know that, but somehow, it’s hard to comprehend. No Sun, no us. LEO is our heart, our Sun as the heart of our body, our system. Our solar system. We say systemic, that’s one of our words these days. We unravel our systems to arrive at the beating heart, to kill, remake, or revive. We are worlds within worlds.
On the evening of August 18 a pretty New Moon in Leo arrives. It’s a bright beginning. The LEO Sun and the LEO Moon conjunct Leo Mercury at 26 and 28 degrees and there they trine Aries Mars at 24.
We will surely learn something worth knowing. Maybe there is somewhere we suddenly have to go!
What information comes through? What now begins to dawn on you? What are you talking about? Write it down. A letter, a conversation? The next step of your story. The TRUTH? Could be a little painful, but it will help you on your way. This is about a journey, and somehow, about building a world within a world.
Let’s radiate. Let’s possess our domain by sheer brightness. A circle of warmth, from which we emanate a circle of sanity. Our own owned enclave with a fire at it’s heart, always tended, fearsome, passionate. Only the best, the best for you, and the best for those who you love.
Go on, move ahead, back straight, eyes level. It is dark under the new moon, so we plant a seed in the earth, and that seed comes up because of our own light.
That’s where we are now, at our beginning of a story inside a story. What happens?
Well, I’ll tell you:
In this lunar cycle gifts begin to show up. The color palate shifts, it’s not all somber now, we see lilac, and lavender, bluey greens. The Moon, Venus, and Neptune share a dance on August 24th. Dramatic, maybe, but beautiful too.
It’s a season of thunderstorms, the transition of time from Leo to Virgo, creation to critique. We harvest flowers, pick some blackberries or apples, at least in our minds. Pleasure becomes useful, and we are not done with play.
Freedom is a theme. Relationships may end or begin, you may turn a corner where something, someone, or some set of expectations is left behind.
Let go of your perception of the limitations. Whatever is subtracted now, you look so much better without it!
Trust this cycle is good for you. Whether it tastes like starlight or fish oil, it has a benefit, and you will see that goodness grow in your life. Your dreams, your imagination, your vision, or even what could be divine intervention helps soften the edges.
A new focus arrives, something allows us to move ahead with our creativity intact. We have a sense of ownership of our experience, perhaps regardless of circumstance we live more freely, with less worry, less fear.
“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” – Anais Nin says that.
Mars does square Saturn, Jupiter, & Pluto, that push is still there. Harsh friction, consequences, violence: these are our times, and they are not through with us. They believe we have more to give. They could be right! A bright star, and a direction. GO THAT WAY.
Have you ever, as a child, run fast down a beaten muddy path or a dark alleyway that takes you somewhere you very much want to go? Not caring, not stopping as a bramble scrapes your leg, or as you doge a dumpster, pushing weeds out ahead of you, not cautious, sure of your direction, sure of your reward.
Let’s cultivate a little of that energy, unsure as we are. There must be some therapy in the running, in the heat of the earth beneath your feet, and in your will to arrive.
If you lack what is needed to move ahead, maybe begins something that looks like a college. Piece it together, cast your arms out receiving, use what you find. It doesn’t have to be yours and yours alone. You can share.
Here is a poem by – Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky It goes like this:
Makes a beautiful naked woman Materialize from
Who then says,
With a sword precariously waving
In her hands,
“If you look at my loins
I will cut off your head,
And reach down and grab your spirit By its private parts,
And carry you off to heaven Squealing in joy.”
“That sounds wonderful, just Wonderful.
Someone please – start writing
Magic remember magic? What is magic but Art, and Leo is the Artist. The heart of the system, the one who builds a world within the world. Our world.
There is no way on this earth, to meaningfully separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you.
Your heartbeat is fundamentally inseparable from the heartbeat of all other creatures in every continent, in all of Air, and oceans, and on every land.
Every little bloody red beating drum, a prayer of hope. A wish and a will to survive. What kind of sound would it make if we had ears to hear? Hearts, wings, lungs. Not harmony, maybe closer to cacophony, but there you are, alive.
Let’s take a breath together now.
I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
LEO Milford Graves!
My six-year-old said, “I don’t know time.” She already knows it’s unknowable. Let it be always a stranger she walks wide around.
I fantasize about outer space as if I have some relation to it besides being an animal in its zoo. No visitors. No matter how far I travel on earth I wind up sitting in rooms.
Wind up running all over towns and streets the same. Then get hungry as anywhere, again. Going anyplace, I think: I never want to go home and I can’t wait to be home.
All traveling’s a way to imagine having a home to leave or return to.
The shame of never leaving home. The anguish of no home. Changing housekeys on the unchanged ring. The ring is the home, the thing inside trees.
Claiming a tree “mine.”
Car feels like a pod, an exoskeleton, a place inside me. Car short for “carapace.”
I blame the weather, blame myself if the weather is “nice.” Tell myself the weather ruined my plans, though it’s me ruined the weather’s.
Plan: like plane like plain like pain/pane. Like planet. Plan acting like an overlay on everything most elemental. Trying to make everything go according to it—feelings, food, flight, ordinariness, the very earth.
Stop already. Stop as if you can. As if you can breathe back in your own baby, your two, your three. Breathe out all the ones you never had. Breathe in one two three. Breathe out all the others.
I don’t want to be cremated. I want to be part of earth. Space may be my original home but I only remember here.
I cling to this life. I’ve taped myself to it like a card on a gift. Happy birthday! Many happy returns and hope it’s lots of fun! We miss you! Love, Me.
A gift is always an exchange of energy. Like water boiling, like photosynthesis. Inside the box is a water pitcher and a picture of us together as we were when the photo was taken.
Now it’s given. It’s only a copy, but the original was a moment and was burned up, caloric.
Simone says before bed, “I’m imagining a strawberry automatically drawn. I dream so much when I’m awake.”
When I learned to tell time I told it. I told it so; I stopped listening to what it tried to tell me: You’re already losing everything as you go and go and go.
– Brenda Shaughnessy
The tipping points of time,
the moment the cup overflows and a single drop of water spills,
the heightened sense when you feel a pivotal question arrive on a lover’s lips before they speak.
The cool sorrowful electricity knowing this is the last time you listen to your parent’s voice because they are dying, and now, will soon be dead.
Finality is a poem, a lie, and the only song we learn to sing over a lifetime.
All songs are praises, are protests, are sung with breath
which we imagine is the metric of consciousness,
having heard it once, is there a weight to the sound you never stop hearing?
Marking the clock like 12 and 6,
as we spiral around, ticking through key resonances to new destinations.
Do you have a sense of urgency to achieve, to arrive before your clock stops?
For the Full Moon on August 3rd, accident mixes with anger and intent. It’s not friendly and it’s not forgiving. Cancer Mercury does have a sense of humor, also, she holds a grudge.
It’s CREATIVE but maybe in the worst kind of grammar school teacher speak. As in, there’s a lot of other things it is too, and we don’t like those things.
perhaps we are surprised by them, perhaps our situation suffers a removal, which may be initially constructed/construed as a loss.
That could be the catalyst, necessity being the dictate that throws our awareness over those cliffs that supposedly bring on the wing creation…anyway that’s what I heard.
Uranus in Taurus squares the Leo Sun and the Aquarius Moon. A surprise, a withdrawal of support? An accident? A shock?
Mars is at 19 Aries under this Full Moon, and due to a very long retrograde that he has not even begun, by the middle of October 2020 he will be at 19 Aries AGAIN, and not done going back.
Eris conjuncts that Mars and together they square Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto and Mercury. Unkind words, unkind actions.
A challenge to the status quo. Somebody stirs the pot.
The Capricorn pile up opposes Crab Mercury: That’s an easy one to decipher, the answer is no. Or you say no. Or yes, but there are consequences, conditions.
Venus is on the North Node in Gemini, inconjunct Saturn in Capricorn, the same Saturn that opposes Mercury.
Money and valuables. It’s the results of past actions for sure, but not only your own actions. In fact, what you contend with is probably mostly beyond your control, or somehow tied in to choices you made before you had all the information.
Back, before you knew about the crack in the rockface, the danger of avalanche or altitude, waaay back when reasonable risks were assessed. And they seemed, well, reasonable.
The Full Moon has a way of pulling things out, of ripening consequences, bringing our actions to fruition.
It’s not that your choices now won’t be final, but that final as they are, you will be forced to face them over and over.
Suppose under this sky you get really angry and make a foolish choice? Turn a sharp corner, set a bridge alight, a fire, a flame that will not be put out.
You won’t be able to fix it, not easily, not likely, nor will you be able to forget what you have done.
Allow yourself to realize everything you think.
This Full Moon is an ending, like they all are, but there is something here that has the nature of a long goodbye.
Under this sky, and in this world, at this time, we say goodbye to so many, to so much.
Goodbye not only to the dreams of life we had imagined: this partner, that apartment, this city, my friend, my job, my business, but to whole worlds, to whole imaginary futures of what seemed possible, or even important, once upon a time.
The door to the fairytale of everything you ever knew is closing faster than you can squeeze your desperate and deeply needy body through it, no matter how heavily greased by hope, faith, or abject and slippery prayers.
We have to look at some of this lead up to 2021 as potential dream time. As blurring the line between conscious and unconscious life.
What we live now, with so many rules and so much suspense, is a way to get at something, painful as any penitent’s confinement, it’s a chance to get at who we really are. A chance to see what’s inside.
You may have to give something up in order to be true to your values.
There may be consequences for telling the truth, or perhaps a more complex situation where you don’t know if what you adhere to is correct, or if who you are forced to follow has any integrity, and what does that even mean in this day, at this time?
- Richard Rohr sez: -We do not find our own center. It finds us. We do not think ourselves into new ways of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking.-
He’s right. It takes practice.
You may need nearly a week, or a week and change to come up with a fully workable plan.
What’s good here?
There is some support for the individual, and for knowing your own mind, even if you don’t know what to do next.
Being yourself, deeply, emphatically. Radical self acceptance. Being able to see your weakness or idiosyncrasies as strength, & individual character, which they can be, and if you’ve done your homework, maybe they already are.
That’s the Chiron in Aries angle, coming at it head first. Chiron trines the LEO Sun. I could say -you do you,- only and exactly how you want, except that won’t work. The Full Moon is full of conditions.
Instead, you BE you, doing whatever you need to, with your whole self, as you ARE.
Oscar Wilde tells us – Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.-
…and isn’t he right? Didn’t he live to know it?
How can I describe him as a help here? I think because his hardships didn’t diminish his humanity or his genius.
And that’s all we are promised, the ability to try to retain our humanity.
Our curiosity, our multiplicity even, our ordinary ability to want to know, to see every side possible, to connect to anyone, that’s what leads us out of this mess. Our ability to be amused, distracted, honestly that helps!
The pleasure of our friends and neighbors, asking what happened next, because we really want to know.
Is there a story in here? OH MY GOD THERE IS.
There is a story, so many stories… the colors and shapes of them, a garden of experience.
However crushed or shut down you may feel, allow yourself not only to plan, but to dream, to wonder, what could happen, what becomes possible, wherever in whatever ways you become liberated?
Can you feel the space that opens up in your chest with curiosity? What would you like to know?
How’s your breathing? Let’s breathe together now. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
Chew off your own foot to get out of a trap? Don’t do it.
Recognize the creative and generative power of language, of framing.
Is there a value to interdependence? You are going to go your own way no matter what. Your life itself is a love poem. New chapter, new verse.
Don’t keep secrets from yourself. Write down what you know, so you can see it.
Allow yourself something for the sole reason that you like it. Desire strengthens you.
Your courage gives others heart. You don’t blend in, and especially now, are not supposed to.
Be careful where you point that knife. Opportunities that emerge rest in your ability to translate pressure into durable creations.
Don’t take it personally. (I know! I know! ) What you are being asked to do is revolutionize your deepest pathology. To let go of what you tell yourself you need.
Give yourself a much needed release. Also, write what you have in your mind.
If you are looking for validation, talk to a tree. Long term goals don’t make you a sellout.
There’s a blast of energy right here for you if you can direct it. What is it you want to prove? If it’s not dangerous, go ahead, prove it.
Isolation and loneliness so often accompany revolutionary energy. In whatever ways you find yourself destabilized, look for the love, the pleasure, that shows you your new direction.
You could go for some sacrifice, or take a rest if you can, but you do have some very powerful ongoing support. Unconscious words? What they reveal is how much you have grown.
The New Moon in Cancer on July 20th looks painful. In a simple way it suggests bad news. A sucker punch, a bad beginning, someone has hurt the baby, the mother, your feelings. If a New Moon is an image of a fresh start, this one comes bearing an old fashioned ball and chain, For a newskool spur of the moment sabian symbol, how about:
– An imprisoned woman, pregnant with the warden’s baby, picking up roadside trash –
A new beginning, along with pressure, regrets, complications, fear of loss, lack of autonomy and an abundance of backward motion. Comparing what we have, to what it should have been. And as much as we need the contrast, that really is a waste, a bad habit. We seem stuck on a loop: saying it’s not supposed to be like this, as though reality will then say, oh right, I’ll bear that in mind. I’ll be shaping myself up now. We’ve nearly fixed it. All the same, all the while, we can’t stop looking back. To see what? What we used to have? The way it was -supposed to be?’ Is that a thing? Was it supposed to be ok? It seems we are all wandering down the haunted hotel hallway in David Lynch’s film Lost Highway. We open the door to a room like every other, and like our protagonist Pete, we share a deep uneasy certainty that we have not only been brought to a very evil place, but that we have become an evil person simply, and without any real malice. We have followed our basest needs, taken what we imagined was the easy way out. We chose to ignore our own conscience, or we never had the strength to build one.
And yes, that’s all we want. We want to talk. We want to ask why! Even as we form the words, we know it’s too late. Wrong words. Wrong thought. No escape. I think it’s important to realize you ARE, you are giving birth to yourself right here, right now. in a situation far beyond your control. Not only are you giving birth to yourself, but also to an unimaginable future, which you participate in but do not control. As you are growing, you are developing the skills you need, even if they can not yet be seen. This is a process in one direction, a process that can’t be undone. You are being molded now. BECOMING becoming becoming becoming.
For this New Moon in Cancer, ( the second one in a row! ) The Sun and Moon are of course together in Crab @ 28 degrees, a retrograde Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto oppose them. Retrograde Neptune @20 Pisces makes a loose trine to the New Moon, and a sextile to the Capricorn pile up. Mars conjuncts retrograde Chiron in Aries at 12 and 9 degrees, and they sextile Venus @15 Gemini and square Mercury at 8 Crab. Uranus in Taurus sextiles the Crab Mercury. The North Node @28 Gemini is inconjunct Saturn and the rest of the Capricorn crew. It’s very sharp, but there is a suggestion of integration, of acclimation, of growth in the aftermath, or growth potential. You are learning to tolerate new kinds of pain & uncertainty, learning which kinds of pain you no longer will tolerate: FROM YOURSELF. Above all, learning that the only person you control on this earth is you. A lot of this time is an up close and personal look at how exceptional we all are not and how much we will bend and sacrifice. But all the same, all the while, in every moment, how beautiful, how various, how particular we are, how infinite in our spark, how precarious, and how very simple we exist in execution, and in fulfillment. How we might could hold these truths to be self-evident, how we grow as every flower does, no different.
We are learning how all of our relationships must become alliances for them to even exist. Look ahead, can you? Look where you want to go. Begin to realize how many lifetimes it may take to arrive. Imagine what arriving looks like. That’s your homework.
And as we prepare to accept whatever comes, to be willing to digest reality, to metabolize it, in order to gather strength, let’s remember, that there is no meaningful way to separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you. You are inherently at home in the limitless power of creation. As we are breathing now, let’s do it together. Let’s breathe together on purpose. It feels good. I’m so glad you are here with us.
On the Starshine Show, Sibyl Kempson and I talk about Astrology
G E N E R A L L Y. Take a listen.
This time it’s about the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn on July 4/5 2020. To open it, I read this:
For the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse July 4/5 2020 it’s time to get real about what you know. It’s the best and only strategy. We are not done going backward. We are nowhere near done looking back. Oh we want to be done. We want more than anything to be done. Are we close? We are not close.
Come in, come in with me. It will be our friends, our friends and neighbors on whom we ply our principals.
It will be between friends and neighbors that our morals, our laws will have relevance. You will not be able to stop applying the rules you have learned.
Whatever is stuck in your throat, you will cough up.
Are you breathing? Are you breathing with us? Keep trying to breathe.
So many people will die. Can you hear me? So many people will die, because they should not die. Because they can die. Because it’s not time for them to die. Because it’s time.
Death is everywhere, and death wanted me to let you know not to choke on your words, not to stop speaking until you are dead.
Maybe if we listen now, the dead can speak?
Who is so serious? It’s all of us. Pushed to the part where you snap, having snapped, and still pushed.
Big death, big sickness, big disease, big secret, big skeletons, big unholy nightmare, and who is going to pay for this mess with their bodies?
Who in your family has already paid, and are you going to talk about it? Is your silence a form of prayer? In what ways do we communicate?
The wheels turn, biological wheels, state appointed wheels, the wheels of justice, the wheels of commerce, the wheels of terror, and it’s fair to expect we will be caught up in the teeth of the gears, run over by the cars, be mangled, broken or die.
Every day we don’t die we have to face this mess. A human mess. Who can face it? Who can look away?
It’s time to get real about what you know. It’s time to hold your knowledge in esteem, however small your personal store, what you know will guide you, and it’s all that you possess.
If you are going to act you will have to do it from your painful individuality, you will have to arrive with your deeply broken heart and every one of your flaws. There is no escape. We are not coming out of this time, not for years, baby, not for years. We ALL, everyone who lives and the dead to watch us, we are all going further in.
This horrible time, this magic time, this blessed time. This time we are born over and over. This time where we have been frozen in order to unlock.
This time where we attempt to answer the same questions with different parts of our bodies. With our hands, with our breath, with our bones, we will try to live the answers.
Projects restart after a disordered interval. People return to us after long separations. Or we are finished with them. We change our minds. Virtually, or literally. Venus is direct and Mercury reconsiders.
The full moon eclipse on Saturday July fourth, is a car crash, is a reminder, is an accident that is no accident. It is a fire, and a message that spreads out into the world.
It is a painful word and the word/the world was GOD. There is nothing here that is not natural. Only it’s so hard to watch.
Remember, whatever world you see, you are in it. Love, and Fear. Violence, Bravery, Transcendence, Hope. Hope without which we are as lost as a toddler in a supermarket.
Hope for whom we give up every other aspiration. Hope, on whom we pretend not to subsist. Hope for whom we will sacrifice all idols, all avenues, if only HOPE.
For this Lunar Full Moon Eclipse, the Moon along with a Retrograde Jupiter/Pluto & Saturn, is in Capricorn, The Sun in Crab. Mars is conjunct Chiron in Aries and squares the Cap. Moon as well as a retrograde Mercury at 7 Crab. Venus is direct at 7 Gemini. Retrograde Neptune trines the Jupiter Pluto conjunction, Uranus trines the Moon. Eris the goddess of discord transits 24 Aries and tightly squares the Moon, Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn at 20, 23, and 29 Capricorn.
That’s the view of the sky from where we are: here.
If you begin to listen to whatever nature is available to you, what do you hear? Thunder, refrigerator hum, the scrape of your chair across the floor, jasmine climbing the telephone pole, the sun has made the pavement really too hot. A dog barks, fruit flies crowd your garbage, ants happy to be on a mission, local crows, distinct and sharply flapping commentators, they seem to organize the street. A crack of summer lightning?
These languages, someday perhaps as valuable as any we might learn. Aliens? At the edge of the frontier of our minds as we conceive of a relationship to all living things. To all living things, what does that mean?
There is no way in this universe to meaningfully separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you. There is no way to extricate yourself from the limitless power of creation.
The waiting for divinity is over. Stretch out your arms, and receive yourself from yourself.
Allow yourself to imagine your own death. However it comes, imagine you are dying, powerless and then dead. Take a deep breath and feel that you are breathing, you are alive and here with us.
Great Article by Sabrina Orah Mark in The Paris Review. Aptly titled Fuck the Bread. The Bread Is Over. She’s talking about the fairy tale of the life we knew…
The following is a talk I gave at a Seven Daughters of Eve Zoom Church broadcast on April 26, 2020. It centers on the astrology of the next month or so, and has a bit of a God thing going, as we were “in church”. Here it is:
I’m glad, so unbelievably glad you are here. Thank you. Thank you for being here with me, and thank you for being here with each other. Can we breathe deeply now, is that possible? Wherever we can breathe, let’s send our gratitude, and where we struggle to breathe let’s send our deepest love.
Sibyl wanted me to tell you about something we have been talking over the last couple of years: It’s a star named Regulus.
On November 28th, 2011, the fixed star Regulus finished it’s journey through Leo (as we see it here on earth) and arrived in Virgo. This star moves very slowly. It has been in Leo for around 2160 years.
Here on earth we see Regulus in Leo as aligned with and symbolic of the juedo-christian and islamic religions that have been so popular and influential.
The move of Regulus from Leo to Virgo symbolizes a move from a masculne, heart centered and performative religion to a more feminine, nature oriented, humble, and cerebral religion. It is in that spirit that we gather today.
It’s beautiful to feel our connections. I want to tell you some things about the moment that you are in. You already know them, but sometimes hearing the words helps us to open to our reality and to heal.
How many of you right now are ready to trust in God as you conceive it?
How many here today believe that you can not be separate from God, that you are a spark of limitless flame?
There is no way on this earth, to meaningfully separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you. There is no way to extricate yourself from the limitless power of creation.
In a world of surprises, God would like to know, where is your fire? Where is your fire to care for those you encounter?
Everything will stop you now, and everything will not let you rest.
On this day, regardless of biology we are all capable of birth. Rebirth, and what comes before it: literal or cosmic gestation. We are born for these times. Not for any other. The facts speak for themselves. Since nothing is reasonable now, no matter how logical we become, there is always another facet, another dimension, another open or shut painful window with a painful view. Are you distracted?
Don’t believe that there can be one single answer to a complex problem.
Who is it that is trying so hard right now? Is it you? Are you trying so hard to begin? Or to hang on? Have you given up, or, are you waiting to be rescued? Is there a message you are trying to send?
Swept along on the tides of history, is that what they say? You are being moved. Everything will stop you now, and everything will not let you rest. Rebellion and control. This will go on for a couple of years.
What is it, that crosses from animal to human, and in a blink, from human to human, and back to animal, to human, to human animal? It turns out, it’s quite a lot! Infinite communal communication.
What have we all been trying to say????
We are married to the future, which is to say the present, to our own genius and technological selves.
Today the sky above the planet earth can be described with the following pile of words:
The Sun is in Taurus conjunct Uranus, the Moon is in Gemini conjunct Venus. Neptune in Pisces squares the Moon/Venus conjunction. Mercury and Chiron are on the opposite sides of Aries. Mars in Aquarius trines the Moon/Venus conjunction. Jupiter hugs Pluto who stations retrograde at 25Capricorn. The North Node is at 0 degrees Crab.
You are newborn, and your assistance is needed in the birth of others. This time we are waking up to, is a summer of frustration and a summer of grief.
Almost nothing is easy, and as you make your choices, you will not even know for certain if you are lying, or if someone else is. Perhaps it’s not about the truth as we might ordinarily recognize it? Perhaps you are both in a state of longing, or perhaps you have returned to your truest selves?
We have been frozen in order to unlock. Your own hand at the key site of your own heart.
People return to us after long separations. Virtually, or literally. Projects restart, stop and restart again. There is always another facet, another dimension. Infinite communal communication.
You can stop now, You can stop looking for a way out, we are all going further in. There is a lot of fighting in the time to come, and no one can offer any protection, except as a mother gives to a child.
It’s worth imagining that everyone you encounter has already been your mother. Or that each person you see is your beloved child and you are now reconciled with them after so many days apart. There is no way to meaningfully separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you. There is no way to extricate yourself from the limitless power of creation.
The dead are among us. Can you take time, some time each day to remember the dying? Can you open your heart to those who have lost the ones they love?
Allow yourself to imagine your own death. Take a deep breath and feel that you are breathing, you are alive and here with us.
The end of Chiron in Pisces, the transition to Chiron in Aries
The following bit of writing is a speech I gave on December 21st 2018 at the Whitney Museum in NYC. I wrote this piece for an event which was part of a series called 12 Shouts to the Ten Forgotten Heavens by playwright and performer Sibyl Kempson and her theater company, Seven Daughters of Eve. I had been working with Sibyl for a few years on the themes and symbolism for these solstice and equinox performance happenings. She is a frequent collaborator, (we do the StarShine Show podcast together) and a passionate and generous human. I’ve been reminded by the sky to look at this writing again. Chiron is has been tres active these last three months, So here we are, paralyzed, held into place as we discover what hurts.
I want to say also, that there will be a lot of waste. It will take too much time. You won’t be able to get it right. That’s it. You are doing it, move ahead.
We are all trying so hard right now to not let go, of our lives, our impossible circumstances, the reality, the facade we have constructed, and at the same time we can see that we have to. We have to tear the past in half even as part of what we are tearing is ourselves, and our desire to maintain, to have an understandable, a comprehensive structure under which, and even more importantly within which we can live.
That is gone now. You are holding it like a piece of paper and the wind will rip it from your hands and you will watch it taken from you, as the wind takes things, in it’s own time and without regard for meaning in the way you are able to understand it.
There is no constructed meaning. It’s humbling, and standing there is not enough. You will be forced to move your legs, your feet, even your arms and the rest of you. You will have to carry yourself to another place. And as you go you will see the earth reshape itself around you. New colors, new objects. No security.
On February 18, 2019, Chiron will move from Pisces, where it has been since February 8, 2011, to Aries where it will be until June 19, 2026. A new individuality is coming. We will step out of a collective sense of pain and responsibility in to a personal one.
And in order to do that, we will have to risk being seen in ways we have not dared before. Our underbelly will be showing, and we will have to stand there, and acknowledge it. YES. That is my soft underbelly, that is my fierce source of power. I will draw myself up like a warrior. I will not wait for these problems to solve themselves. Because that’s part of it, right?
We are waiting, and now, even if, even as, we are pushed out the door of the airplane, already teetering at an unthinkable, and yet absolutely logical, a measurable distance from where we are going, even if we are pushed, at some point, and that point is now, we will still have to jump. Make the choice. Not with words, with your feet, your arms and hands with your blood, split open your solar plexus to allow the new energy access to your heart. Your head will be throbbing, and you will have a headache that doesn’t leave for weeks. Let it in. Let it work it’s entire way through your body. Say YES. That’s who I am, that’s who I need to be.