Our world revolves around the Sun. We know that, but somehow, it’s hard to comprehend. No Sun, no us. LEO is our heart, our Sun as the heart of our body, our system. Our solar system. We say systemic, that’s one of our words these days. We unravel our systems to arrive at the beating heart, to kill, remake, or revive. We are worlds within worlds.
On the evening of August 18 a pretty New Moon in Leo arrives. It’s a bright beginning. The LEO Sun and the LEO Moon conjunct Leo Mercury at 26 and 28 degrees and there they trine Aries Mars at 24.
We will surely learn something worth knowing. Maybe there is somewhere we suddenly have to go!
What information comes through? What now begins to dawn on you? What are you talking about? Write it down. A letter, a conversation? The next step of your story. The TRUTH? Could be a little painful, but it will help you on your way. This is about a journey, and somehow, about building a world within a world.
Let’s radiate. Let’s possess our domain by sheer brightness. A circle of warmth, from which we emanate a circle of sanity. Our own owned enclave with a fire at it’s heart, always tended, fearsome, passionate. Only the best, the best for you, and the best for those who you love.
Go on, move ahead, back straight, eyes level. It is dark under the new moon, so we plant a seed in the earth, and that seed comes up because of our own light.
That’s where we are now, at our beginning of a story inside a story. What happens?
Well, I’ll tell you:
In this lunar cycle gifts begin to show up. The color palate shifts, it’s not all somber now, we see lilac, and lavender, bluey greens. The Moon, Venus, and Neptune share a dance on August 24th. Dramatic, maybe, but beautiful too.
It’s a season of thunderstorms, the transition of time from Leo to Virgo, creation to critique. We harvest flowers, pick some blackberries or apples, at least in our minds. Pleasure becomes useful, and we are not done with play.
Freedom is a theme. Relationships may end or begin, you may turn a corner where something, someone, or some set of expectations is left behind.
Let go of your perception of the limitations. Whatever is subtracted now, you look so much better without it!
Trust this cycle is good for you. Whether it tastes like starlight or fish oil, it has a benefit, and you will see that goodness grow in your life. Your dreams, your imagination, your vision, or even what could be divine intervention helps soften the edges.
A new focus arrives, something allows us to move ahead with our creativity intact. We have a sense of ownership of our experience, perhaps regardless of circumstance we live more freely, with less worry, less fear.
“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.” – Anais Nin says that.
Mars does square Saturn, Jupiter, & Pluto, that push is still there. Harsh friction, consequences, violence: these are our times, and they are not through with us. They believe we have more to give. They could be right! A bright star, and a direction. GO THAT WAY.
Have you ever, as a child, run fast down a beaten muddy path or a dark alleyway that takes you somewhere you very much want to go? Not caring, not stopping as a bramble scrapes your leg, or as you doge a dumpster, pushing weeds out ahead of you, not cautious, sure of your direction, sure of your reward.
Let’s cultivate a little of that energy, unsure as we are. There must be some therapy in the running, in the heat of the earth beneath your feet, and in your will to arrive.
If you lack what is needed to move ahead, maybe begins something that looks like a college. Piece it together, cast your arms out receiving, use what you find. It doesn’t have to be yours and yours alone. You can share.
Here is a poem by – Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky It goes like this:
Makes a beautiful naked woman Materialize from
Who then says,
With a sword precariously waving
In her hands,
“If you look at my loins
I will cut off your head,
And reach down and grab your spirit By its private parts,
And carry you off to heaven Squealing in joy.”
“That sounds wonderful, just Wonderful.
Someone please – start writing
Magic remember magic? What is magic but Art, and Leo is the Artist. The heart of the system, the one who builds a world within the world. Our world.
There is no way on this earth, to meaningfully separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you.
Your heartbeat is fundamentally inseparable from the heartbeat of all other creatures in every continent, in all of Air, and oceans, and on every land.
Every little bloody red beating drum, a prayer of hope. A wish and a will to survive. What kind of sound would it make if we had ears to hear? Hearts, wings, lungs. Not harmony, maybe closer to cacophony, but there you are, alive.
Let’s take a breath together now.
I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
LEO Milford Graves!
My six-year-old said, “I don’t know time.” She already knows it’s unknowable. Let it be always a stranger she walks wide around.
I fantasize about outer space as if I have some relation to it besides being an animal in its zoo. No visitors. No matter how far I travel on earth I wind up sitting in rooms.
Wind up running all over towns and streets the same. Then get hungry as anywhere, again. Going anyplace, I think: I never want to go home and I can’t wait to be home.
All traveling’s a way to imagine having a home to leave or return to.
The shame of never leaving home. The anguish of no home. Changing housekeys on the unchanged ring. The ring is the home, the thing inside trees.
Claiming a tree “mine.”
Car feels like a pod, an exoskeleton, a place inside me. Car short for “carapace.”
I blame the weather, blame myself if the weather is “nice.” Tell myself the weather ruined my plans, though it’s me ruined the weather’s.
Plan: like plane like plain like pain/pane. Like planet. Plan acting like an overlay on everything most elemental. Trying to make everything go according to it—feelings, food, flight, ordinariness, the very earth.
Stop already. Stop as if you can. As if you can breathe back in your own baby, your two, your three. Breathe out all the ones you never had. Breathe in one two three. Breathe out all the others.
I don’t want to be cremated. I want to be part of earth. Space may be my original home but I only remember here.
I cling to this life. I’ve taped myself to it like a card on a gift. Happy birthday! Many happy returns and hope it’s lots of fun! We miss you! Love, Me.
A gift is always an exchange of energy. Like water boiling, like photosynthesis. Inside the box is a water pitcher and a picture of us together as we were when the photo was taken.
Now it’s given. It’s only a copy, but the original was a moment and was burned up, caloric.
Simone says before bed, “I’m imagining a strawberry automatically drawn. I dream so much when I’m awake.”
When I learned to tell time I told it. I told it so; I stopped listening to what it tried to tell me: You’re already losing everything as you go and go and go.
– Brenda Shaughnessy
The tipping points of time,
the moment the cup overflows and a single drop of water spills,
the heightened sense when you feel a pivotal question arrive on a lover’s lips before they speak.
The cool sorrowful electricity knowing this is the last time you listen to your parent’s voice because they are dying, and now, will soon be dead.
Finality is a poem, a lie, and the only song we learn to sing over a lifetime.
All songs are praises, are protests, are sung with breath
which we imagine is the metric of consciousness,
having heard it once, is there a weight to the sound you never stop hearing?
Marking the clock like 12 and 6,
as we spiral around, ticking through key resonances to new destinations.
Do you have a sense of urgency to achieve, to arrive before your clock stops?
For the Full Moon on August 3rd, accident mixes with anger and intent. It’s not friendly and it’s not forgiving. Cancer Mercury does have a sense of humor, also, she holds a grudge.
It’s CREATIVE but maybe in the worst kind of grammar school teacher speak. As in, there’s a lot of other things it is too, and we don’t like those things.
perhaps we are surprised by them, perhaps our situation suffers a removal, which may be initially constructed/construed as a loss.
That could be the catalyst, necessity being the dictate that throws our awareness over those cliffs that supposedly bring on the wing creation…anyway that’s what I heard.
Uranus in Taurus squares the Leo Sun and the Aquarius Moon. A surprise, a withdrawal of support? An accident? A shock?
Mars is at 19 Aries under this Full Moon, and due to a very long retrograde that he has not even begun, by the middle of October 2020 he will be at 19 Aries AGAIN, and not done going back.
Eris conjuncts that Mars and together they square Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto and Mercury. Unkind words, unkind actions.
A challenge to the status quo. Somebody stirs the pot.
The Capricorn pile up opposes Crab Mercury: That’s an easy one to decipher, the answer is no. Or you say no. Or yes, but there are consequences, conditions.
Venus is on the North Node in Gemini, inconjunct Saturn in Capricorn, the same Saturn that opposes Mercury.
Money and valuables. It’s the results of past actions for sure, but not only your own actions. In fact, what you contend with is probably mostly beyond your control, or somehow tied in to choices you made before you had all the information.
Back, before you knew about the crack in the rockface, the danger of avalanche or altitude, waaay back when reasonable risks were assessed. And they seemed, well, reasonable.
The Full Moon has a way of pulling things out, of ripening consequences, bringing our actions to fruition.
It’s not that your choices now won’t be final, but that final as they are, you will be forced to face them over and over.
Suppose under this sky you get really angry and make a foolish choice? Turn a sharp corner, set a bridge alight, a fire, a flame that will not be put out.
You won’t be able to fix it, not easily, not likely, nor will you be able to forget what you have done.
Allow yourself to realize everything you think.
This Full Moon is an ending, like they all are, but there is something here that has the nature of a long goodbye.
Under this sky, and in this world, at this time, we say goodbye to so many, to so much.
Goodbye not only to the dreams of life we had imagined: this partner, that apartment, this city, my friend, my job, my business, but to whole worlds, to whole imaginary futures of what seemed possible, or even important, once upon a time.
The door to the fairytale of everything you ever knew is closing faster than you can squeeze your desperate and deeply needy body through it, no matter how heavily greased by hope, faith, or abject and slippery prayers.
We have to look at some of this lead up to 2021 as potential dream time. As blurring the line between conscious and unconscious life.
What we live now, with so many rules and so much suspense, is a way to get at something, painful as any penitent’s confinement, it’s a chance to get at who we really are. A chance to see what’s inside.
You may have to give something up in order to be true to your values.
There may be consequences for telling the truth, or perhaps a more complex situation where you don’t know if what you adhere to is correct, or if who you are forced to follow has any integrity, and what does that even mean in this day, at this time?
- Richard Rohr sez: -We do not find our own center. It finds us. We do not think ourselves into new ways of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking.-
He’s right. It takes practice.
You may need nearly a week, or a week and change to come up with a fully workable plan.
What’s good here?
There is some support for the individual, and for knowing your own mind, even if you don’t know what to do next.
Being yourself, deeply, emphatically. Radical self acceptance. Being able to see your weakness or idiosyncrasies as strength, & individual character, which they can be, and if you’ve done your homework, maybe they already are.
That’s the Chiron in Aries angle, coming at it head first. Chiron trines the LEO Sun. I could say -you do you,- only and exactly how you want, except that won’t work. The Full Moon is full of conditions.
Instead, you BE you, doing whatever you need to, with your whole self, as you ARE.
Oscar Wilde tells us – Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.-
…and isn’t he right? Didn’t he live to know it?
How can I describe him as a help here? I think because his hardships didn’t diminish his humanity or his genius.
And that’s all we are promised, the ability to try to retain our humanity.
Our curiosity, our multiplicity even, our ordinary ability to want to know, to see every side possible, to connect to anyone, that’s what leads us out of this mess. Our ability to be amused, distracted, honestly that helps!
The pleasure of our friends and neighbors, asking what happened next, because we really want to know.
Is there a story in here? OH MY GOD THERE IS.
There is a story, so many stories… the colors and shapes of them, a garden of experience.
However crushed or shut down you may feel, allow yourself not only to plan, but to dream, to wonder, what could happen, what becomes possible, wherever in whatever ways you become liberated?
Can you feel the space that opens up in your chest with curiosity? What would you like to know?
How’s your breathing? Let’s breathe together now. I’m so glad you are alive and breathing here with us.
Chew off your own foot to get out of a trap? Don’t do it.
Recognize the creative and generative power of language, of framing.
Is there a value to interdependence? You are going to go your own way no matter what. Your life itself is a love poem. New chapter, new verse.
Don’t keep secrets from yourself. Write down what you know, so you can see it.
Allow yourself something for the sole reason that you like it. Desire strengthens you.
Your courage gives others heart. You don’t blend in, and especially now, are not supposed to.
Be careful where you point that knife. Opportunities that emerge rest in your ability to translate pressure into durable creations.
Don’t take it personally. (I know! I know! ) What you are being asked to do is revolutionize your deepest pathology. To let go of what you tell yourself you need.
Give yourself a much needed release. Also, write what you have in your mind.
If you are looking for validation, talk to a tree. Long term goals don’t make you a sellout.
There’s a blast of energy right here for you if you can direct it. What is it you want to prove? If it’s not dangerous, go ahead, prove it.
Isolation and loneliness so often accompany revolutionary energy. In whatever ways you find yourself destabilized, look for the love, the pleasure, that shows you your new direction.
You could go for some sacrifice, or take a rest if you can, but you do have some very powerful ongoing support. Unconscious words? What they reveal is how much you have grown.
The New Moon in Cancer on July 20th looks painful. In a simple way it suggests bad news. A sucker punch, a bad beginning, someone has hurt the baby, the mother, your feelings. If a New Moon is an image of a fresh start, this one comes bearing an old fashioned ball and chain, For a newskool spur of the moment sabian symbol, how about:
– An imprisoned woman, pregnant with the warden’s baby, picking up roadside trash –
A new beginning, along with pressure, regrets, complications, fear of loss, lack of autonomy and an abundance of backward motion. Comparing what we have, to what it should have been. And as much as we need the contrast, that really is a waste, a bad habit. We seem stuck on a loop: saying it’s not supposed to be like this, as though reality will then say, oh right, I’ll bear that in mind. I’ll be shaping myself up now. We’ve nearly fixed it. All the same, all the while, we can’t stop looking back. To see what? What we used to have? The way it was -supposed to be?’ Is that a thing? Was it supposed to be ok? It seems we are all wandering down the haunted hotel hallway in David Lynch’s film Lost Highway. We open the door to a room like every other, and like our protagonist Pete, we share a deep uneasy certainty that we have not only been brought to a very evil place, but that we have become an evil person simply, and without any real malice. We have followed our basest needs, taken what we imagined was the easy way out. We chose to ignore our own conscience, or we never had the strength to build one.
And yes, that’s all we want. We want to talk. We want to ask why! Even as we form the words, we know it’s too late. Wrong words. Wrong thought. No escape. I think it’s important to realize you ARE, you are giving birth to yourself right here, right now. in a situation far beyond your control. Not only are you giving birth to yourself, but also to an unimaginable future, which you participate in but do not control. As you are growing, you are developing the skills you need, even if they can not yet be seen. This is a process in one direction, a process that can’t be undone. You are being molded now. BECOMING becoming becoming becoming.
For this New Moon in Cancer, ( the second one in a row! ) The Sun and Moon are of course together in Crab @ 28 degrees, a retrograde Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto oppose them. Retrograde Neptune @20 Pisces makes a loose trine to the New Moon, and a sextile to the Capricorn pile up. Mars conjuncts retrograde Chiron in Aries at 12 and 9 degrees, and they sextile Venus @15 Gemini and square Mercury at 8 Crab. Uranus in Taurus sextiles the Crab Mercury. The North Node @28 Gemini is inconjunct Saturn and the rest of the Capricorn crew. It’s very sharp, but there is a suggestion of integration, of acclimation, of growth in the aftermath, or growth potential. You are learning to tolerate new kinds of pain & uncertainty, learning which kinds of pain you no longer will tolerate: FROM YOURSELF. Above all, learning that the only person you control on this earth is you. A lot of this time is an up close and personal look at how exceptional we all are not and how much we will bend and sacrifice. But all the same, all the while, in every moment, how beautiful, how various, how particular we are, how infinite in our spark, how precarious, and how very simple we exist in execution, and in fulfillment. How we might could hold these truths to be self-evident, how we grow as every flower does, no different.
We are learning how all of our relationships must become alliances for them to even exist. Look ahead, can you? Look where you want to go. Begin to realize how many lifetimes it may take to arrive. Imagine what arriving looks like. That’s your homework.
And as we prepare to accept whatever comes, to be willing to digest reality, to metabolize it, in order to gather strength, let’s remember, that there is no meaningful way to separate the vibrations of your molecules from the vibrations of the molecules surrounding you. You are inherently at home in the limitless power of creation. As we are breathing now, let’s do it together. Let’s breathe together on purpose. It feels good. I’m so glad you are here with us.